More Autocorrect

Autocorrects from my friend Rachelle's phone.

This series of conversation happened in one day, within a matter of hours...it had me giggling pretty hard core. 

Asking me if we are throwing a Memorial Day PARTY:

On the subject of thunderstorms and if she had ever seen them on the plains, like in Kansas. She has. As is CLEARLY explained below:

I wrote back and told her it was pretty epic that today's conversation has been full of sexual things...and absolutely no ACTUAL sex was discussed!

Leia Mais…

E-Mail Conversations

This is an e-mail back and forth from 2007, as you can see from the time stamp, between myself and former office mate Debbie (who is worse at keeping up with blogging than I am). Debbie sent this epic e-mail conversation to me a few days ago and I thought it was worth blogging. (According to the end of the e-mail, she may have blogged this back in the day too)

This is hilarious for a few reasons. One, content. Secondly, we sat approximately 30 inches from each other. OK, so it was about 3 feet, but seriously, I could have reached out and slapped the back of her head.

Apparently on October 19, 2007 I volunteered to take the filings to the Courthouse. I will note that I had only been there a year, but was well past my sucking up stage, so clearly I was doing this out of the goodness of my own heart.

Debbie was clearly jealous of my goodhearted nature. HA!

I still miss my office mate. Good thing I get to see her once a year at her new home in Maryland!

XOXO Debbie!

-----Original Message-----

From: Jessica 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:18 PM

To: Firm

Subject: Courthouse

Taking stuff for the Courthouse at 4:00. Have everything ready! Just letting everyone know that too! Thanks!

-----Original Message-----

From: Debbie 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:17 PM

To: Jessica

Subject: RE: Courthouse

conformist

-----Original Message-----

From: Jessica 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:24 PM

To: Debbie

Subject: RE: Courthouse

re-tardist.

-----Original Message-----

From: Debbie 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:23 PM

To: Jessica

Subject: RE: Courthouse

say-dist

-----Original Message-----

From: Jessica 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:26 PM

To: Debbie

Subject: RE: Courthouse

know-ist all-ist.

-----Original Message-----

From: Debbie 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:25 PM

To: Jessica

Subject: RE: Courthouse

pain-in-the-ass-ist

-----Original Message-----

From: Jessica 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:28 PM

To: Debbie

Subject: RE: Courthouse

your momma-ist

-----Original Message-----

From: Debbie 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:29 PM

To: Jessica

Subject: RE: Courthouse

what-an-original-answer-ist

-----Original Message-----

From: Jessica 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:31 PM

To: Debbie

Subject: RE: Courthouse

duh-ist

-----Original Message-----

From: Debbie 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:30 PM

To: Jessica

Subject: RE: Courthouse

lol-ist

-----Original Message-----

From: Jessica 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:33 PM

To: Debbie

Subject: RE: Courthouse

blog this-ist

-----Original Message-----

From: Debbie 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 2:31 PM

To: Jessica

Subject: RE: Courthouse

I-just-might-ist

Leia Mais…

How Long Has It Been?

You know, I read blogs daily. Everyday. But somehow just haven't had anything to write about.

SURE, life has kept on going and there have been some FUN things that have been going on, but, alas, none of which have made it from life to words.

So in the spirit of starting things back up, I will share some funny texts that have recently come my way.

I am a fan of the drunk text. Some drunk texts are better than others. My friend Rachelle...BEST. DRUNK. TEXTER. EVER.

Please note that I did answer back, but her conversations were WAY funnier than my sober responses.

On speaking to a guy at the bar:

He's paying quentin to me at the bar.

Sturgeon

Fuck attention

____________ 

With no pre-text whatsoever, I get this:

Randomly

Family

He doh nco

Fuck

Too rated fo oF my phone

You know answer of mean

Coram any is where so drink language on angelus pee

Fuck oi can't spork my icons

, omg I'm gonzalez hilarious whatever

I can't scum e.g. understand my phone

Holy admits I sweeter basic

I mean I see jesus

____________

On the issue of gays marrying:

seriously I wish jesus would show up right now

I'd be all.....dude, number one..... Get your people under control

They are losing their shit. Like, get a hold of those motherfuckers.

Im do funny

I'm so glad you know me. I'm fucking awesome.

Ow my stomachs vult hurts from laughing cuz I'm do motherfucking ch stations

Swizz

Help

Xcx awesome

Yay

I did it

I love ch booze

Dude I can't get over how awesome I am

It's like, I invented being fucking epic and I wag like switzerland about it....I was all, awesomeness belongs to the wold, be awesome about it

And obama was like, fuck yeah, shes right! I'm ginn be fucking awesome! I'm gonna be the first black president.

And he was. And then he was all....I'm gonna rock the american people by being unlike every politician before me

And he was

And ya know what?

I'm proud to say I lived to see america elect a black president.

I got all serious there for a hot minute and freaked myselfout

I'm.tweaking

Do good oh it's stop good

I love out

Obama if the shit

Come on. I mean really...think about it

We lived to see a democratic black president.

Thats pretty fucking epic

a bother in the white house! I mean at some point, maybe after we're so old we don't know what's happening....maybe a woman...a lesbian woman could be voted in as president.

Can you imagine how different the world would be?

I hope I live to see the day when people stop worrying about who anyone wants to marry and starts thinking about how to truly forward the human race

And yeah...I'm st the point of fucked up where you start to understand religion.

Only I don't feel jesus

I feel like maybe.....secretly....I'm god. Only....I didn't get the memo. And neither did anyone else

Oh, jess...I'm thee. I am literally andy shit le shit me

Fuck

Nifty angry

Just Angry

Fuck

Angry goddammit

About the fact that gay marriage is even being discussed. It should be a non issue. Why the fuck does anyone care?

So mad

________________

With my friend Deb:

Leia Mais…

September Til Now

September is my birthday month, of which I celebrated accordingly. On my actual birthday, which is the 24th, I celebrated 31 years of living! It was a glorious occasion, celebrated with beer and football, as it should be. There may also have been some karaoke. And I some surprise visitors from my hometown - my former basketball/softball coach and her sister. It was a FANTASTIC surprise and I was quite thankful to them for travelling the three hours to come and see ME on my day! Very special indeed!

The rest of the month was spent helping Joseph and Ana into their new home. They finally have their things and are in the process of getting through the boxes. My house has suddenly become very, very quiet.

This month is starting to take shape as well. This past weekend we had our annual family reunion for my grandmother's family on my Dad's side. This family is QUITE large - my grandmother had 10 siblings. This was also the first family reunion  in about five years, where all three of us (me and the brothers) were able to attend at the same time.

This is the process it takes to actually get a good picture of me and the brothers:

 

Joseph telling us one of his jokes...

   

Mom, Dad, Me, Jacob and Joseph

Grandma, Mom, Icky (William), Dad, Me, Jacob, Ana and Joseph

This weekend my good friend Debbie and her son are coming to visit, SUPER excited about that and we are going to the national fair near my hometown.

The weekend after this weekend, former roommate Bobby is coming to visit!!!!! And we have a Halloween party to attend that weekend as well.

The weekend after that, heading BACK to my hometown (three hour drive north) to attend another Halloween party at my former basketball/softball coach's house.

The weekend after THAT one we will be heading to Tampa to see the almighty Rush perform their Clockwork Angels tour.

Incidentally, the rest of the year is filled up too, but I will just wait to write about all that after we complete the above.

Leia Mais…

Long Time Friends

We all have long time friends. At least I hope you do. I am sure you do. You do, right? Of course.

I have a long time friend, Annie, whom I have known since undergrad school. The class was a computer class of some sort, first day, and in walks Annie, sits down beside me and says, "Hi! I am Annie! Let's be friends!"

And that was that.

Oh how times have changed! If our future selves would have contact us back then, there really is no way I would believe how things are now.

All that being said, my dear friend Annie, her husband Mike and their three children, Matthew, Evelyn and Jonah came and visited us.

I was amazed at how BIG Matthew had grown. I have known him since he was just a tiny peanut in his Momma's belly. What a story there...and his name tells it all - Matthew - Gift of God. Here are a few pictures of all of us over the past many years:

What Me and Annie Did Before Babies:

Matthew

Now there are three...and look how BIG Matthew is!!

And I had the pleasure of finally spending some time with Evelyn

And finally meeting Jonah

What an amazing ride it has been for all!

Seattle - 2008

Savannah - 2012

Seattle - 2008

Savannah - 2012

(As evidenced by the pictures, quite a bit of beer has been consumed in the last four years...probably time to go back to wine and liquor!)

Leia Mais…

Dusting Cobwebs

It has been brought to my attention, by a few, that it might be time to update this blog. So I am.

We have been staying pretty darn busy since the last post! Immediately following Collective Soul, I surprised Krystal with seeing Barenaked Ladies in Charleston, South Carolina. Us at the concert taking a sneaky picture so no one behind us would photobomb...

They put on a great show and Krystal knew the words to about 98% of the songs and it is always hilarious to see her singing along...mainly because I am usually the fool trying to sing back up for (insert name of band here) from waaaayyyy back in the back row somewhere.

The weekend after Barenaked Ladies, we went to Atlanta, Georgia with Michelle, Whitney and Larkin where we saw 311 - which is Michelle's favorite band. Here is Michelle with the band members:

This is her "redemption photo" as her original picture, taken with the band a few years back, was not as smiley...the excuse was that she was smiling so much BEFORE the picture was taken that her cheeks spazed out and her smile was not forthcoming. We rectified this situation by boozing her up this time. Seems the rest of the guys may have been boozing it up a bit too...and perhaps a little something else. "Whooooo's got the herb?!?"

Well, that finishes out July...August was filled with travels to see friends, friends coming to see us and the start of football season!!!

This Labor Day weekend my cousin and his girlfriend came from New York to visit. So did my youngest brother. So did my sister in law and tiny baby Icky. Did I mention that my brother and Larkin are both living with me now too?!? I am either running a frat house or a brothel. I haven't decided which one to go with yet.

Wait, have you seen a picture of Icky lately?!? NO! Well, let me rectify THAT problem:

Brother Joseph also rented a boat a few weekends back...THAT was some fantastic fun!!!

This weekend, in the midst of all of those visitors, we were able to attend the Savannah Rhythm and Brews festival, where another of Krystal's favorite bands were playing: Sister Hazel. They were quite good and it was awesome to watch them, drinking some brew, at sunset.

And that gets you all caught up!! :)

Leia Mais…