Musical Eff Ups

I am a HUGE fan of music...love music. Have the useless talent of pretty much knowing every lyric to every popular song from 1950 to the present. I'm not lying...just ask my peeps! Do you know how many times they have had to shut me up?! I can also tell you the artist and name (plus lyrics) of most of the songs from 1970 to the present. Hummm, really not that impressive, so just forget I ever said any of that and I will figure out a better, much more admirable talent and holla atcha!

Onward...so mankind has had a few lyrical blunders...let's think of a few popular ones...like "Blinded by the Light" by Manfred Mann's Earth Band - the lyric is ""revved up like a duce...", but half the world thinks it is "wrapped up like a douche" - THOUGH I have to say my most favorite part of that song is the part that goes "And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly" which actually sounds like "And a little girly pearly gave my anus curly wurly" which is just hilarious, I don't care who you are.

Some of my friends have had some good fuck ups too...for instance, my friend Christine (best friend for about 14 years now) was in the car (in high school) and we were listening to The Steve Miller Band (whom I have seen in concert - LOVES!) and the song "Jungle of Love" came on. Uh-huh. My girl is over there singing to the TOP OF HER LUNGS - "CHUG A LUG! It's driving me mad, it's driving me CRAAAYYZZYYYY CHUG A LUG!..." I was like, "Chug a lug?" WTF? And that is when you get that look from the other person where they are like, "Whaa? You mean that isn't what they say?" "Really?" "Are you sure?!?" And that is when you have to be all logical on their ass and ask, "Why would a Chug a Lug be driving him crazy?" Really.

My most famous fuck up was "Beast of Burden" by The Rolling Stones, the lyrics goes "I will never be your beast of burden" and I was pretty darn sure they said "I will never be your pink suburban", but again, you have to throw that logic in there and wonder WHY would anyone be a pink suburban? And did they even HAVE suburbans in late 1970's? And who would paint their suburban pink?

All of that was to say that last night Larkin came over for a drink or 10, some Hamburger Helper and to talk about her Mom, the eulogy tomorrow and just some general funny shit that we remember about her Mom.

So in the middle of this conversation, Larkin was telling me about how she unlocked a shit-ton of songs on Rock Band 2, including Alanis Morissette - "You Oughta Know".

(Now, if you don't know, on Rock Band you have a drummer, two guitar players and a singer. So the singer has to follow along to the words and this usually falls upon the shoulders of either Larkin or myself.)

Larkin turns to me and says, "Did you know she says "Of the cross I bear that you gave to me"?" I said, "Yeah...what did you think it said?"

"The cross-eyed bear that you gave to me"