I have a new favorite Stewie quote: (after Stewie thought he was going to die, he decided to write his last words)
Oh, squiggly line
in my eye fluid.
I see you lurking there
on the periphery of my vision.
But when I try to look at you,
you scurry away.
Are you shy, squiggly line?
Why only when I ignore you,
do you return to the center of my eye?
Oh, squiggly line,
you are forgiven."
28 February 2008
27 February 2008
I have noticed that a substantial amount of my friends and associates are having children these days. I guess it is about that time in life to start. Though it is not quite my time yet, I did find these very helpful tips on how to care for a child. I am all about visual aid and such. No time like the present to start my education!
25 February 2008
People come and go...as we all know, part of life is death.
Saturday we lost a very special person in this world, Tilman Self. Tilman and his wife Celeste gave me my very first REAL job. It was a job that I loved and one that allowed me to step into the job world without much of a hassle. I have been spoiled by the job world because of the opportunities that they both gave me. I have never had to do retail or be a server at a restaurant and this is all due to the fact that I was able to start in an office setting at 18.
I saw Tilman in the late part of last year on the day I sold my house. I walked into my old office and there he was sitting at his desk just like always! He was in the middle of a meeting, but he stopped the meeting and got up just to give me a hug. I already miss how he called me "darlin". Come to think of it, I wonder if he ever actually called me Jessica.
Celeste, his wife, is like a second mother to me. I love her to pieces! I can’t say enough about what a dear friend she is to me. She and Tilman helped me through so many different things during my early growing up period. Always with a smile, always thankful, always going the extra mile to make sure that I loved my job and that I was enjoying myself. And I did!
I went to school with Tilman’s sons, Tripp and Shane. I was very young though. They were graduating high school when I was barely brushing the edges of elementary school. Shane came back and actually taught me my senior year of high school, then a short year later we were co-workers at his Dad’s business.
Tilman and Celeste would have the BEST Christmas parties you have EVER been to! Always shrimp and steak. As some of you know, I am not a big steak eater, but I could NEVER refuse a steak cooked by Tilman! That was the most tender, most delicious steak I have had, and probably ever will have, in my life!
I remember when I attended Tilman’s mother’s funeral, I had never met her, but I had spoken to her many times on the phone. She was a wonderfully nice woman. She was also a stand-up comedian in her day, which I thought was AWESOME! In any case, I remember seeing Tilman at that funeral and his eyes lit up at the fact that I was there and he gave me the biggest hug and smile, though accompanied by tears. That moment was very special to me. His love for me was very apparent that day and I was thankful to have seen that I too was important in his life in some way.
So to you, Mr. Tilman E. Self, I want you to know that I love you and miss you. You will always hold a special place in my heart and I want to thank you for giving me all the opportunities that you gave me and the love that you shared will never be forgotten. Thank you for touching my life.
For those that care to read more about this man.
14 February 2008
You know how you have to sometimes type those word verification things and the word is all fucked up and sideways like that time your face was all jacked up cause your Momma drop kicked you after she met you at the door at 3 A.M. when you were supposed to be home at 11:00pm. Yeah. You know those word things I am talking about?
Well, I just realized today that I try and sound them out. One I got today was: yemjrfkb which, to me, sound out to Yem Jrfcob which is almost like Jacob, which is my brothers name.
Amazing really. (yes, I know, not really. Shut up.)
12 February 2008
10 February 2008
I went to the store to get ferret food and kitty litter. I came back with ferret food, kitty litter and this: (named Bubba Blaque)
And I blame this:
Check out the difference between 1 1/2 year old Jacque compared to little fresh Miss. Wee-Bit Crazy
08 February 2008
One day I want to meet the sadistic shit that invented snow boarding. He/she is probably the cousin of the person that invented heels.
First of all, who thought it would be a good idea to strap a piece of wood to your feet, turn your feet sideways, except one, yeah, that one foot we are going to slightly turn in a very awkward angle that will make you feel like your hip is going to explode every time you attempt to turn yourself. And how is one supposed to stop again? I know it wasn’t the way I was doing it, because flopping yourself on the ground time after time is 1) very painful and 2) quite exhausting. If your feet are glued to the bottom of a board that is trying to slide out from under you at every opportunity, how exactly is one supposed to get up?!
I have another issue too.
Looks beautiful, white and fluffy.
Reality: it is hard and sharp and cold and mean.
I hate it.
OK, I don't hate it. What I hate is that I am slightly crippled and because I have a bad knee that limits the things I can do. Admitting that there is something I can't do, whether it is because I am just not good at it OR my body won't allow me to do it, makes me VERY ILL.
I taught all the children on the bunny slope how to use the word fuck in many different ways. Towards the end I was trying to actually hurt some of the children by tripping them as they went by, mostly jealous of the fact that they were able to actually ski/snow board. I hate them all.
Most of the frustration of the day was due to the amount of time it took to do EVERYTHING. You have to buy a lift ticket before you can rent any equipment. So despite the fact that I didn't know if I would actually be able to snow board, I had to spend the $45 to buy a lift ticket and find out. All in all it took about two hours of waiting in lines to rent all the stuff we would need and get our gear on. We also discovered that they don't rent ski pants, so we had to buy some. So the frustration of not being able to enjoy the slopes was mostly seeded in the massive amount of money we wasted just to find out. Not to mention all the time Krystal wasted on me watching me sit on the ground with a piece of plywood on my feet.
I made my way to the bar, especially since I had wasted like an hour just getting down the stupid bunny slope. That is an hour of drinking time that I will never get back.
Amy, Travis and Krystal were able to snowboard the rest of the day and from what I heard they had a couple good runs.
When we got back on Sunday we stayed at Amy and Travis's house and had a Super Bowl party! The fact that my liver is still functioning today is a miracle. The weekend events were quite rough on it!
All the same, enjoy some lovely pictures from the events:
Travis and Amy on the Slopes
Me and Krystal and my awesome hat
Krystal and Amy on the Slopes
01 February 2008
Apparently this is the story behind the below pictures.
"He was, in death, propped in a recliner in front of a television, with a pack of cigarettes and a beer at his side.
James Henry Smith died at the age of 55 of prostate cancer on Thursday.
Because his death was expected, his family planned for an unusual viewing Tuesday night.
The funeral home erected a small stage in a viewing room, and arranged furniture on it much as it was in Smith's home on game day Sundays.
Smith's body was on the recliner, his feet crossed and a remote in his hand. He wore black and gold silk pajamas, slippers and a robe. The cigarettes and beer were at his side, and a high-definition TV played a continuous loop of Steelers highlights.
A friend called the viewing a celebration, adding people will see him as he was."
His sister said she couldn't stop crying after looking at the Steelers blanket in his lap. It was just like he was at home.
I am pretty much speechless.
Could you imagine being the funeral director on this one?
"No, I don't like the position of the beer...lets move it to the left"
"Should we light his cigerette for him?"
"Lets drape the blanket like so..."
"Put the remote in his hand...OK...PERFECT..."