So a few posts ago I was answering some interview questions, which then led to me Jesserviewing Momma Dawg over at her spot…peep it!
While reading some other interviews (must be the month of interviews) on some other blogs I came across the question, “Why did you start blogging?”, which got me to thinking about my own journey to blogging.
Many moons and drunken nights ago I was engaged to a gentleman whom we shall refer to as “C”. As some, or maybe many or none of you may know, I was with “C” for 6 years. During that time there were 3 break-ups. The first two were his doing and the third (and final) was mine.
Break-up #2 was the biggie. It happened about our 4th or 5th year together. It devastated me. I didn’t go to work, I didn’t eat, I didn’t move for an entire week. I had to call my Mom to come and bring me some kind of nourishment, as I had grown quite weak from lack of ingestion. Incidentally, this was about the time that I really started enjoying Ensure. Try it, you will like it!
Also during this time I was diagnosed with anxiety, panic attacks and depression. As you can imagine, that combination was delightful. I was referred to a therapist named Kevin by my wonderful friend, Annie. Kevin's office was part of a church. Though I am a spiritual person, I do not particularly believe that one can pray themselves into feeling better or being better for that matter. Needless to say, I was not thrilled to be going to someone whom I felt was just going to tell me that I need to “pray more” or “be more in touch with the Lord”.
It is safe to say that my preconceived notions were incorrect. Within 30 minutes of our session he had told me, and I quote, “Jessica, you are full of shit.” I love me some Kevin! In sum up, Kevin referred me to a good friend of his who is a Psychiatrist who gave me some beautiful drugs that helped me get all my chemicals back on track.
As part of my therapy (drugs included) I was to start writing. I wasn’t a big fan of the idea of pen and paper, so I looked into this blog thing. The title of my blog “This Life Is Mine” was my way of saying, “This is my life, you can’t destroy it…it is MINE.”
Since that time the meaning of my blog has drastically changed. “This Life Is Mine” now translates into “Check out all this crazy fun we have down here in Savannah! This is my life, yo!”
After therapy and after I started writing my blog, “C” and I did get back together, but it was short lived. After our final break up, a series of things happened, some of which was the loss of my job in Macon and my move 160 miles to Savannah.
I printed off my blog, which contained all of the hurt and anguish I was going through, put it in a memory box and haven’t looked at it since. I deleted all my posts and started over. My blog now starts in January of 2007…incidentally where some really fun and interesting times begin!
That, ladies and gents, is how I came to know bloggerdom. I rarely use my blog to write about heavy mind blowing shit, as I find that focusing on the fun and joys I have in life, it helps take away any trials and tribulations that are part of everyone’s life in general.
Peace suckas! I lurve ya!
maybe it’s the people after all…
7 hours ago
17 comments:
Lurve ya back! BTW... did you know that the word lurve is a Scottish scientist word?
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
I love how you took something negative like a bad breakup/anxiety/depression and made it into something positive. Kudos for you for finding your way and dude don't you just love it when people like Kevin blow your mind and tell you that you are full of shit.
Deb - I had no idea...but your Scottish knowledge astounds me.
Kat - Thanks! And I do love when people can just be straight up with me and just call it like it is...unless of course they are full of shit too, then I say, you can't bullshit a bullshitter, yo!
Wow. What a back story. You ever gonna tell us the whole story or just leave it at that? Not trying to be nosy...well, wait, yes I am. LOL!
Mama D - I guess I could tell the whole story...but I will have to break it up a bit...that would make for a VERY long post! :) I have written about bits and pieces before...somewhere on this blog of mine...couldn't tell you where though!
Well I'm just glad you're here and better and all happy so I can live vicariously through you and your crazy mooning/boob-biting partays!
:D
Jes - too sweet! Thank you muchly! And who said I was better?!? The crazy just got transformed into mooning/boob-biting parties! :) LOL, just kidding, I am doing much better!
Hey, how are you doing? Hope everything is well.
Interesting blog...feel free to check mine out as well.
Love your therapist, and glad things are back on track.....
Leon - doing well! Hope the same for you!
Jul - thanks for stopping by, feel free to stop by again...[heading off to see your spot...]
Wow. That's some heavy stuff right there. I am glad that you are now writing in terms of enjoying your life. I went through a major breakup back in 2003 and it literally tore my life in half. I will say that the ONLY things that helped me was #1. Praying and meditating every single day- I mean, just keeping up with it, which is what came to my other means of healing... #2. Writing. I wrote in Word Document and all of the sudden, it became a BOOK. I was like, "I should get this published... and two years later, it was finally published... Then I started a blog because I didn't have enough "juice" to write another book, however to jot down some thoughts and happenings in my life seemed to suffice.
I am curious about your situation regarding C and your current life now. You don't have to answer this...but...I will ask... Did you know you were into women back then when you were with him? Or, did you just get frustrated with men and decided that women were 'more sensitive'? I ask this with all due respect of course. I was engaged to a man once and dated a heap of men before Madelene, but I knew I was a total dyke from age 1... lol.
I just wanted to appease my family and not be called out as 'the lesbo' as all my friends referred to those who were lesbians. "Ewww, she's a lesbo!" Lame, right?
Interesting story! I want more on this!!
~Deb - so interesting that you would ask these questions and talk about writing your book...I decided, after this post, to write a partial life story. I am starting it around the age of 14 and moving forward. It does include the topics you have asked about.
I am not sure how interesting it is and I am finding that it lacks humor...but I am hoping to do some revisions and then I will be posting it in parts. I am up to 6 pages at the moment.
I will keep you informed. If you would like/care/want to take a gander at the whole thing before I post, I will be happy to e-mail it to you when I am done! :)
love the story of how you picked your blog name. got linked from unmitigated and love the blog - you seem like a pretty ass-kicking person and i am happy you were able to turn a negative into something so positive!
Gathering Dust - thank you for stopping by! MAW at Unmitigated is da shiz! Thank you for the compliments as well!!! Keep rockin!
i know she is! she's my auntie! i don't know how i ended up with the most freaking awesome family ever, but i must've not effed up too badly in a past life.
Gathering - OMG, you guys are like a blogging gang! You have your Aunt your Cuz...well, I guess I need to get out there and start recruiting!
...and my sis and my mom. ridiculous! we're a crazy bunch. MAW and I are going to write a book together eventually...she suggested it months ago but we're both busy ladies.
Post a Comment