'Sup peeps. I'm back, nah nah nah na nah nah nah na nah nahhhh. Fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna enter in...
Sidetracked!
The following may be TMI for you, but lets face it, we have covered my UTI's on here, and I know we all poop, fart and pee.
So yesterday I went and got the Implanon...well, implanted on me.
Some of you may be wondering, "Well, why in the name of tiny little ponies would Jess need to be on birth control?"
Two words my friend, two words: NO PERIOD.
Also, hormones really help out those little irritants called cysts that decided to take up residence on one or both of your ovaries...lovely little fuckers.
So this entire procedure is really interesting.
First of all you have to lay down on the table and the Dr. or P.A. will take a gander at the inside of your arm and decide where the tricep and the bicep meet, because this is going to be the new home for the wee little Implanon, right between the tricep and bicep on your inner arm.
Then he or she will take some numbing medicine (Novocaine presumably) stab your arm three times and numb that thang up. This is the worst part of the procedure and honestly, you only feel that sting for MAYBE 3 seconds. Totally no biggie.
Then comes a very large needle, which I would suggest NOT looking at before the procedure; you will just psyche yourself out, yo. He or she injects you with the Implanon and in about 10 seconds you are ready to rock. Can't feel a thing.
Thankfully, Larkin had warned me about the needle size BEFORE I went in, so I refused to look at it until after the procedure was over...and indeed, that needle was crazy big! Thank the drug gods for Novocaine!
So for three years, I can now look forward to no periods, no cramps, no cysts, clearer skin and saving money on crammers...and it only cost me $25!
I totally suggest that you chicks go out and get this thing...it really is totally worth it!!
Home is wherever there is good wifi.
4 hours ago
13 comments:
Yay for no periods!! I am so glad you went and got it too. Now our ovaries will be so happy! And, if my arm turns black and falls off, you have a week to take yours out. That's what friends are for!
Oh, man. I want to get that.
I'll have to look into it.
Of course, it's too late for this upcoming weekend for me, but in the future? Watch out!
Larkin - you are an amazing friend.
MD - You only have to take precaution for a week...and then all its protective powers kick in!
I have Mirena and let me tell you, it is a wonderful thing. No babies 5 years and hardly any period at all.
I'm not fond of needles, so I'm still a pill popper. Keeps the hormones in control for the most part.
Can you feel it/see it under your skin?
Kat - I am with ya! Though I am not so much worried about the babies, I am however excited about my monthly gift not coming!
Lola - I don't mind needles, however, I think that anyone could do this. The numbing medication is a very, very, very small needle and you don't even feel the prick, but the medication will sting for a moment. Really, just a moment. After that, smooth sailing. Just don't look!
I cannot see it under my skin, though if I press down I can kinda feel it. Sorta feels like a toothpick, but not as hard and very flexable.
Think: pills (depending on your insurance) $5 - $15 a month. Implanon: $25 for three years.
I encourage you to go and get one! I will hold your hand...virtually!
Wow! If only I had ovaries! I read something a couple years ago that said, evolutionarily speaking, woman shouldn't be ovulating once a month anymore. It made sense when we were living around campfires, but not so much any more.
Capt D - you aren't missing a damn thing, PROMISE!
The doc did say there is no reason that women should HAVE to have a period...so to that I lift my glass (or can) of beer and cheer to no more...monthly interruptions.
Hrmmm, is this safe and natural though??????? I would love to have no period only because I have such horrendous cramps that it literally debilitates to the point of passing out or vomiting. REALLY BAD.
I should look into this...
Sweetie? Did you read the fine print???? ACKKKKK!
"The use of hormonal contraceptives is associated with increased risks of several serious side effects including blood clots which may lead to stroke or heart attack. Blood clots are a side effect of birth control pills and pregnancy. It is unknown if the risk of blood clots with IMPLANON™ is different than with birth control pills. Some examples of blood clots are: deep vein thrombosis (legs), pulmonary embolism (lungs), retinal thrombosis (eyes), stroke (head) and heart attack (heart). There have been reports of blood clots, including pulmonary emboli and strokes, in patients using IMPLANON™. Tell your doctor at least 4 weeks before if you are going to have surgery or will need to be on bed rest because you have an increased chance of experiencing blood clots during surgery or bed rest."
Are you ok with the possible side effects???
~Deb - yep, yep...read the whole pamphlet. Those side effects are the same with all birth control, not just Implanon. I let my doc know that I do smoke, as that also increases the risk of blood clots and such. The risk is also greater in those that smoke and are 35 and older.
As with most things in life, there are sometimes unpleasant risks to be taken to get to the desired place you want to be.
Keep in mind these side effects are by far not common, just known...I would totally talk to your doctor about this if you have concerns, though I think you will find that the results far outweigh the risk.
And thank you also for forwarding me the above information...you are a good friend!! There are many, many people who do NOT take the time to research their drugs at times this can be deadly. (Anna Nicole, her son, Heath Ledger...)
I arrived Via Pearl-"oldies but goodies do Rock but you do have to watch us We Will drink all your beer ;-)
Anyway to your Post I had a friend that did this too. Me, I went the hard natural way, not quietly mind you, but happy it is done!
Ohhhh Darsden! Thanks for stopping by! Pearl is a mother effin RIOT!
There will be another kegger in a few weeks, in celebration of another birthday, but THIS time, I am going to get some security because I KNOW YOUR SECRETS!!! (again, GENIUS, might I add!)
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