See, what had happen was…
We met up with our ex-co-workers, Frances and Bobbie, at the Longbranch bar and had a couple of beers. That would have been fine in and of itself, except we ended up going to Blaine’s after that. Rumor had it there was karaoke. Karaoke indeed!!
Being it was a Tuesday night and no one was really there, we got to sing the shit out of all of our songs! It was delightful!
What is more interesting than another karaoke story was what happened AFTER we left the bar.
Larkin and I walk across the street to our favorite convenient store/gas station called Parkers. This is like no gas station you have ever seen. I love it!
I honestly eat at this gas station at least five times a month. Peep these pics!
I guess it is more like a market that sells gas. Whatever.
Anyway, so Larkin and I are standing in line with our food and shit and some drunk asswipe walks in, grabs a 40oz, cuts in front of a customer while the clerk is ringing them up, and throws a $20.00 bill in the clerk's face.
Oh, HELL NAW.
He is promptly rejected and sent to the back of the line. He waits there and then when it is his turn he is a complete bitch about things. He pays then storms off with the bottle in his hand.
No bag. No cup.
AGAINST THE LAW. And it is almost 2:00am. You are a walking target for the cops, dude.
About 30 seconds later he come BACK in the store, and by this time we are all getting a little peeved as this punk. He asks for a cup and the clerk tells him that he will have to pay for one, which would require that he get back in line. He didn’t care for that so much, so he goes and grabs a big ass cup, pours his beer into it, leaves the beer bottle RIGHT NEXT TO THE TRASHCAN and as he is walking out tells the clerk that, “This guy will pay for it…” pointing at some dude that I HOPE was his friend.
Considering I am feeling quite spry at this point, I yelled at him, “Hey! Don’t worry; I will throw away your beer bottle for you!” as I make an exaggerated gestured walk over to throw it in the trash.
Then Larkin yells at him, “You know what? You are kind of an asshole, dude!”
All of a sudden everyone in line chips in and totally reams the guy, putting in their two cents about his actions. Most of the words included ass and hole.
The dude seems confused by why on earth anyone would think he was remotely doing anything wrong. He then proceeds to say something about being from New York and he was going to get his lawyer.
That pretty much did him in right there. New York you say? Is this how you act in New York? Because here in Savannah we are proud of our stores and the clerks that work long hours all day, everyday, and we don’t put up with poo-putt-pussy-ass-punk-bitches giving our hardworking people a difficult time. And you want to call your LAWYER? BITCH PLEASE! We WORK for attorneys, I don’t give a shit if you call your lawyer or the Easter Bunny…what are you going to tell them? I was being an asshole and people called me out on it?
After getting a stern talking to, his friend (whom apparently WAS a lawyer) threw down $40.00 on the counter and hurried him out of the store.
I looked at the clerk and she said, “Um, I think that guy just bought all you guys groceries and stuff.”
So I look behind me and here are three, young drunk boys with 40’s in their hand. All I had was some Combos and Larkin had a hot sandwich. Well, shit, that isn’t $40.00 worth…so we get the boys to go get us a 40oz, they grab a couple more for themselves too, I get some candy bars, Larkin gets some cigs and the guys behind us get cigs. We had $2.00 in change by the time everyone in the store finished shopping. Larkin and I took the change.
The only bummer is that I had paid for my shit before the $40.00 was put on the counter. BLAST!
At least Larkin and those just-turned-21-tonight boys had a good time. And really, one of the guys really did just turn 21 that night. How sweet.
Which reminds me…the clerk asked for everyone’s I.D. and as she was checking she was reading out loud and in my drunken stupor, after hearing her say “1988”, I was like, “WHAT?!? People born in 1988 can drink now?!?” And totally embarrassed to poor newly 21 year old who was like, “YES! YES, I promise you can! I am OLD ENOUGH. LOOK!” And then I felt bad because he had worked so hard to turn 21 and then some drunk ass like me is challenging him in front of the clerk that he is trying to buy his beer from. Dammit drunk Jess…