Krystal, Bobby and myself decided that we had a bit of cabin fever, so we decided to go downtown, eat some sushi and get a few drinks at one of our new eating establishments. Ruth's Chris. You may have heard of it, but perhaps have never been inside. If you have heard of it, you know why you have never been inside. You must walk into that place with NO LESS than $100.00 if you want to eat. Thankfully, I work for the most awesome boss in the world and he was kind enough to give me a $50.00 gift certificate. Being my boss is a genius, he said, "You won't be able to eat on this, but I bet you could get a could drinks under belt." He is a smart one, that one.
Indeed we did! First of all, this place is AMAZING. Beautiful! We immediately make our way to the bar and a very nice gentleman, by the name of Matthew, asked if we would like a table in the bar area. SURE! So we sit down and observe all the really drunk rich people. We decide that we would like to be drunk rich people too. Matthew served my Miller Lite to me like it was a $100.00 glass of wine. I giggled and Matthew said that it was just the way they did it there. I told him keeping it classy with Miller Lite was what I was all about, but if they had Keystone or Miller High Life, it would make it even MORE awesome!
As we were sitting there we started contemplating the important things in life: poop.
I had mentioned a while back that I was going to do a survey on who stands up to wipe and who stays sitting down. Turns out the Bobz sits, while Krystal and I do a half squat stand-up. Bobby was mortified!
"Why would you stand up?", says he.
"Uh, so we can see if we are done wiping.", says us.
Then we went into the dynamics of when you are sitting down your butt cheeks stay apart, therefore not causing even more of a mess, however, I was quick to dispute this saying that the half squat stand-up (with a lil lean over) does the same trick.
All in all, we decided that most women stand up and men stay sitting down. We figured this was the case for multiple reasons, mostly including the difference in dress for men and women.
As we were giggling at ourselves, Bobby made the comment that it didn't matter if we were at The Longbranch (our most hole in the wall, redneck place EVER) or a place that serves a $72.00 glass of scotch, (no, really, they had that on the menu. ONE glass, not even a full glass, of scotch, $72.00!!) the conversation inevitably comes back to pooping. It is so true.
We were unaware that the restaurant closed at 10:00 until we asked our server what time things shut down, at which time it was already 10:15. We had only racked up a $25.00 tab at this point and since I felt pretty bad about keeping the poor man after his hours, I gave him the whole gift card amount. He came back to our table, leaned down, looked us all in the eye and gave a VERY emphatic thank you.
I think Krystal hit the nail right on the head when she said, "Don't you wish we could tip like that all the time? It just makes you FEEL good!"
Indeed it does. I don't know what kind of financial situation waiter Matthew was in, but that $25.00 tip made my day too!