3:35 News Brief

Dudes and dudettes...another week and some days has come and gone and I feel like there is something I am supposed to talk about, yet, nothing is coming to mind.

Got my flu shot yesterday. Thought my arm was going to fall off halfway through the day, but it didn't. Today it is just a little sore with a slight bump. Beats the fuck out of the flu though.

Bowling league is going awesome! I broke 100 TWICE last night, which is a major accomplishment for me...nay, a miracle!

Have I mentioned I have started going to a therapist on the regular? She totally rocks my socks...even more awesome than that...after I started going to her, most of my friends joined the bandwagon! Now we all see the same person, which probably causes her to go home and night and wonder how in the world all these wack-a-doodle people got to be such awesome friends. We like to fuck with people's minds like that.

Thanks for tuning in for this short update...

Leia Mais…

Raised Eyebrow

So us peeps at the house have been watching a little bit of the new show called Sister Wives on TV.

It is like watching a midget stripper do a keg stand...you just can't turn your head.

These woman are not your typical oppressed looking polygamist looking women; they wear fashionable clothes, don't look drab, wear make-up (though one of them needs some SERIOUS how-to put on make-up tips) and appear relatively "normal".

Ah, that word again..."normal".

It has prompted a discussion about how we all felt about polygamy and whether or not it compares to how people feel about gays and lesbians getting married.

They could (and may) use many of the reasonings gays and lesbians do:

"We should be able to love whomever we want"

"We aren't hurting anyone"

"We raise our children in a very loving home"

Still, I just could NOT imagine sharing my partner with ANYONE. And on top of that, I am having a hard time understanding the religious meanings behind it. Something to do with having as many wives and children here so that when you (the man) gets to heaven, you are king of your own little area and the more wives and children you have here, the more awesome you are there. Yeah, something like that.

AND THEN, that brings me to the pimp of all pimps, Hugh Hefner. The Hef has, for DECADES, kept multiple women...and no one really blinks an eye. I TOTALLY watched the show back when Holly, Bridget and Kendra were the talk of the town. I had the same reaction as I do about polygamy, mixed with the typical "Money: How to Get Hot Women to Have Sex With Your Wrinkled Dick Self"

POINT BEING, if it isn't religiously backed, people don't seem to think anything of it. I can only assume it is because WE know that THESE chicks know they are going to get money, sex, rock n' roll and move on with their lives. It is basically just something to boost their career, in the meantime, that genius Hef gets to boost his...well, you know.

Back to the show...the actual Sister Wives show...where do we draw the line?

Do we ask the law to change for gays and lesbians to remove the "man and woman" part of the marriage law and make it say "two humans"?

Do we make room for the polygamist movement and allow the law to say marriage is between one man and as many wives as he wants? Or how about if a woman wanted to be polygamist?

I need some opinions here.

Leia Mais…

THOSE People

In my very lax state of blogging lately, I have failed to mention quite a few new things that have been happening in life...one of which is that I have joined a bowling league.

Not only me, but Krystal, my friend Christine, Larkin, Paul, Tim, Sarah (who work at my boss's parents medical office)...yeah, we got the whole crew. It is actually all Michelle's fault...she was in a bowling league first and then asked us all to join.

Seriously, the people we know make up OVER half the league.

Me, Michelle, Krystal and Christine are on one team, GSA. (Gutter Sluts Association) We are currently beating all other teams in the league.

Did I mention we get a FREE BALL after the league is over!! Because of this I have religiously been shopping for bowling shoes, bowling bags, bowling everything.

I have turned into those people that me and Christine used to make fun of when we went out for bowling on Friday nights. "Those OLD people in leagues...how LAME!"

Last and MOST importantly, please go check out/follow/holla at my FOM (Former Office Mate), Debbie, who has FINALLY started blogging again. She is hilarious! Unless she is reading this right now and in that case you are nothing but a slutmonkey cootercanoeing hobag.

Leia Mais…

That Time of Year

So it is that time of year again when money starts getting tight and Cup O' Noodles and Chef Boyardee (and massive amounts of heartburn) become the norm for lunch and dinner. The good news is that this slump usually only lasts about a month or two.

SO, I went down to the pawn shop today (which I have never done before) to get rid of some jewelry that has been hanging around in my jewelry box for a few years.

Had some gold chains, 3 1/2 pairs of diamond earrings, some pendants and a gold necklace with a diamond and gold heart on it.

At least one of the pair of diamond earrings was from my father when I turned 16, however, I am not sure which pair. The other ones were gifts from boyfriends past. The 1/2 earring (have no idea where its partner is) is a mystery.

Turns out all the gold chains I had were plated i.e. not worth shit. Two of the pairs of diamond earrings were fake. Bastard cheap ass boyfriends. I had a gold pendant from Kuwait that was a gift from a friend of mine's ex-husband, so obviously that thing was tainted with bad ju-ju. Thankfully it WAS real and worth a little bit.

All in all I got $80 from shit that I never wear, never would wear and had just been sitting around. If I had known which pair of diamond earrings my father had given me when I was 16 I would have kept them; it could have been the real ones or could have been the 1/2 of the real one, which is pointless to have because I only had 1/2 of the pair. I have no clue. Anywho, point being, I didn't feel terrible about selling them.

So while I was at the pawn shop, I got a $50.00 ticket for my expired tag. The one that I haven't been able to get because money is tight hence the pawn shop visit!

All I could do was laugh. I couldn't have been in there for more than 10 minutes and the bastards got me!

Good news is that once I get my tag (next week) I can take the ticket down and have it removed. Hopefully I won't have a stack of them!

Leia Mais…

Like Tom Sawyer, We Caravaned!

I think only my friend Justin might get the title above at first glance. For the rest of you, we went to see Rush...

...last Friday in Tampa, followed by Rush again in West Palm Beach on Saturday. Caravan is one of their newest songs (LOVE IT) and of course one of their classics is Tom Sawyer.

We left Savannah around 1:30 and made our way down to Tampa. Tampa is approximately 6 hours away and the show started at 7:30. Interestingly, we arrived at 6:30, parked and made it to our seats by 7:15. Lucky for us, the band was running behind, so we had plenty of time to grab some spectacularly expensive beer and find our seats.

The first night this is what we saw:

Pretty darn good seats...we were right under the pavilion and in perfect seating for beer gettin and bathroom goin!

This years Rush tour is called Time Machine. It. is. FABULOUS!

We saw the last two shows of the North American tour (originally the last two shows of the tour at all, but they booked some more shows down in South America).

Both shows were completely sold out. The Tampa show held 20,000 people. My only comment was "DAMN! Look at all these white people!" I have never seen so many white people at one time. Also, I would say 65% of them were men.

After 3 hours of blissful music listening, we decided to head to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino to see if we could win some money. When I say we, I just mean our friend Jeremy. He put in $1 in the nickel slots and won $100.00...in only about 10 minutes. I put $20.00 into the nickel slots and lost all $20.00 in about 5 minutes. We only stayed 30 minutes, as that is when we found out that the drinks on the floor were not free. No free drinks in a casino?!? What kind of world are we living in?!?

We continued our drinking at the hotel.

The next morning we arose to head the 3 hours or so to West Palm Beach. West Palm is quite beautiful!

Those are not Jesus' footprints.

The second night, this is what our seats looked like:

We tailgated before hand, which I have never done at a concert. Multiple times at football games and even a few times for the Savannah Derby Devils Roller Derby...

Jeremy, Justin and Krystal

My husband, Neil Peart, was, as usual, perfectly amazing on the drums. His drum solo this year, once again, put tears in my eyes.

I actually don't remember the end of the concert on the second night, but I can tell you two things: 1) me and rum drinks make for a very sloppy drunk 2) some woman got drug out from the audience after suffering an apparent heart attack. I didn't see anywhere in the paper where she died, so I am assuming they got her ticker back on track. Sorry you and I both missed the end of the show Ms. Lady.

The next day we lumbered out of bed and started making our way home. Jeremy is a HUGE Jimmy Buffett fan, so we stopped at Universal Studios where there is a Margaritaville. We then took a tour of what we could (without getting into the actual rides area) which mostly consisted of more restaurants and bars. So we had a few drinks at the bars and finally departed around 6:30pm.

It is Love Bug season in Florida. If you have never been to Florida during Love Bug season, then you probably didn't even make a face.

These are Love Bugs:

Can you guess why they are called that?!?

They swarm like those damn plagues that Moses was throwin Pharaoh's way back in the day. Good thing Pharoah didn't have cars back then. I know he would have been pimpin in a nice Lambo or something, but then his windshield would look like this:

Or perhaps he would have been all incognito and traveled the world as a trucker, then his truck would look like this:

Really, we totally saw some trucks JUST like this!

Thankfully, Florida realizes that their Love Bug mating season is quite out of hand and they have provided these AWESOME drive up winshield washer things. We did it the first time just for fun, but the second time was a necessity.

This is what it looked like for us:

But this is a much better idea of what it does:

Really, it is the small things in life.

Leia Mais…