Nothing too crazy has been going on around these parts, therefore, that leaves me at a lull in blogging.
So I will leave you with some of the crazy texts I get from my mother.
Preface:
Mom told me I really needed to see Second Hand Lions. I told her I would order on Netflix as soon as possible. I get a text a few hours later:
Mom: Did I say the move was Two Old Goats?
Me: No, Second Hand Lions.
Mom: Oh, that's it. No wonder I couldn't find it in Best Buy
While I am driving down the road last Friday, out of the blue, no preface here:
Mom: What is that butt issue you have that starts with an f?
Me: Fissure?
Mom: Yes. Thanks.
Mom: Yes. Thanks.
That's it...nothing else. Just a "normal" 6:00pm text from my mom.
Just to sum up, I don't actually have fissures, I have a completely different "butt issue" which is not near as interesting as fissures, which did, about 10 years ago, require that I get a colonoscopy. What I remember from that: horrible shit you have to drink, my butt cheeks falling asleep on the toilet from sitting there for hours on end and Demerol. Oh, how I love the Demerol.
Glad we cleared all that up.
Palate cleanser...my boss's new beagle puppies:
3 comments:
I heard about that chalky stuff you have to drink.... eeek. Do you have to drink water to hydrate since the million bathroom runs?
Your texts with your mom are hysterical! Hope you're doing ok! Miss you guys!
Deb - I thankfully didn't have the chalky stuff, you have a choice between that stuff and this clear "lemon" flavor stuff. And let me tell you, they use the term lemon incorrectly. More like tastes like monkey fart. Anyway, you can't drink anything after 12:00am, so needless to say, you are absolutely PARCHED by the time the procedure comes around. I think after the procedure I drank about six Sprites a couple gallons of water.
Miss you! Seriously, let's get this Skype date in order.
Jess, I have always felt your blog postings suffered from Too Little Information. I now no longer feel that way.
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