The below is in the top five of favorite drunk text message I have EVER received. To make it even better, it wasn't even in a text message, it was in the messaging section of Words With Friends. All spelling, grammar, punctuation and capitalization is original:
Message 1) I’m drunk AND stoned ANDS drink and also SRTONED and also quite totally fucking drumk. oh…and cocked and a bit annihilated but akso stonjed out of my montherfuckinggours, wow, i am rambling in my state oif altered consciousness. If i was on acid right now I would be seeing floating pussies in my face. i know by now you are laughing cuz it’s like,,….tomorrow and shit and dwe’re sober. Thjta’ds my gift to you, m my friend.
Message 2) for the record i’m crying right now laughing at my own drunkenness/ II think i ned rehab like poor dead amy whinelhouse
Message 3) fuckkk that made me laugh ven harder, my stomach hurts make i stop
Message 4) damn, m you’re funny even qhen you’re not here
I seriously almost wet my pants when I read it...and then read it a few more times the next day and laughed then too...I do love my friends!